We sent some questions over to The Cumshots through email to find out how the band got together, when they plan to tour the UK and so much more.

Thanks for taking time out to do this interview?
No problem. I have no life whatsoever.

You have been together since 1999, how did you come together as a band and get to where you are now?
Like all good things it came abut as a result of anger. In the late 90’s I had to tell people I was Danish to avoid beeing associated with the norwegian metal scene. Sorry, there’s a lot of nice guys playing black metal up here, but they need to tidy up their act. Standing halfnaked in the snow, with make-up that make them look like pandas who’s bamboo supply has just run out...come on ! And what’s with the norse mythology thing ? Play „Dungeons & Dragons“ and watch the directors cut of „Matrix“ if you’re so into wizardry that a pointed hat would be the next logical step. Don’t make it a norwegian thing. We were embarassed and took action. That’s all.

You are called The Cumshots, how did you come up with the name and are people shocked when the first hear your band name?
We have a saying in Norway: „If you crucify your baby at birth, things can only get better“. Well, we baptized our little baby in a pool of diarrhea, by giving it the only name nobody, and I mean NOBODY, liked. And, as the saying proved, it’s been uphill from here. At least nobody can blame us for taking the easy route.

You are from Norway, how would you describe the music scene in Norway? And what type of following do you have there?
I have no fucking idea what the music scene is like these days. I haven't left my house for months, so I honestly can't tell you. I'm not much of a peoples man. Much less one who enjoy big crowds. The others in the band are a social bunch though. My cute little alcoholic friends would have the answer to this one, but they’re not here right now. Nobody is.

For people that have never heard of you how would you describe your music style and influences?
Selfdestructive hard rock to the level of absurdity. After I crushed my left hand during a show I’m stuck with only writing the lyrics so I can’t really speak for the other guys, as to what they’re influenced by when they make the songs, but it must be something good. As long as they stay away from jazz, reggae, ska and pikk, I’m happy.

I understand you are heading to London to play a show every day for a week, how is the booking process for these shows going and what venues will you be playing?
Yes ! We’ve had a tradition for doing “one week, one city” in Norway for some years now, and hopefully it’ll work out for London as well. Check out www.myspace.com/cumshots for any updates and www.thecumshots.org for a report from our first “one week” in Oslo way, way back.

You have been together for ten years now but you are pretty new to England, are you looking forward to getting your music unleashed in England and showing the English crowd you mean business with your hectic live shows?
Can’t wait !

If you had a choice What bands would you like to tour with?
Myself ? Riverboat Gamblers, Elvis or any band sporting tits.

I understand you have all suffered broken bones and various fractures during your energetic live shows, what was the worst accident you have had on stage and what were the damage?
Hmmm, I burst my stomach once when our bass player kicked me off stage and onto the railings. Then again he’s broken an arm, a leg and his nose. Two of us have broken some ribs and everybody has been prone to bleeding, so it’s a tough one to call. The will to live ? Does that count ?

In 2002 I understand you let people have sex on stage whilst you were playing, how did this come about and how much trouble did you get in for this happening? And would you let it happen again?
They (“Fuck for forrest”) sent us and e-mail while we were on tour in Germany and asked if they could come on stage and hold an appeal when we were gonna play the Quartfestival (Norways biggest). You know, to tell people to think about nature, pollution, whatever. We didn’t care, don’t care, will never care, so we just said “ok”. We played, they came onstage, fucked for 4 minutes, left, and we kept on playing. Afterwards we got arrested, paid a huge fine and never got to play a festival again for two years. No need to repeat it though. It’s been done.

You released your third album ‘Just Quit Dying’ back in 2006, how well has the album done in Norway and how did it go down with your fans compared to your previous albums?
Like the erection of a 13 year old arab, it just keeps on growing. And like the erection, it’s all fun.

On Monday the 11th May, you are releasing ‘Just Quit Dying’ in the UK how come in has taken so long for this album to be released in the UK?
I have absolutely no idea. We’re just slow I guess. Not retarded. Just slow.

On ‘Just Quit Dying’ you have some strong titled tracks such as ‘Praying For Cancer’, ‘I Drink Alone’, ‘Bitter Erection’, ‘Baptized In Broken Glass’, what’s the messages and themes of these songs?
"Praying for cancer".
You know that feeling when you want to kill yourself but you can't because of the pain and grief it will cause your family ? Well, that's when you pray for cancer. You die, but no one is to blame. A win/win situation.

"I drink alone"
is about that point you reach when you understand that to avoid further damage to your surroundings you have to drink at home in closed quarters in absoloute solitary. At least when no one is around you only fuck up your own life. It's a necessary step in the progress of keeping up your alcoholism.

"Punchdrunk on death"
To put it blunt. I can't help but fucking anything that crosses my path. Women that is. And it gives me absolutely nothing. Slowly this ability to never saying no has seeped into all aspects of my life, and it's fucking killing me.

"Baptized in broken glass"
You're born into this world naked and crying. To me that's TKO in the first round. The song is a continuation of "praying for cancer", only on this one I'm praying for silence.

Considering ‘Just Quit Dying’ is pretty much three years old now, are you working on creating new songs for a new EP or album?

It’s finished ! “A life less necessary” will be out this autumn. 9 very, very pregnant songs.

With ‘Just Quit Dying’ coming out soon, do you plan to re-release any of your earlier work in the UK?
I hope so. They should be available through itunes or Rodeostar (our label) at least.

Most bands get presents from their fans, have you had any odd or unique presents given to you by your fans yet?
Apart from the occasional tattoo, the skull we got when we played in Chemnitz still holds first place. The guy had dug it up from the graveyard himself…

Where do you think The Cumshots will be in 5 years time?
We ARE the true cancer of Norwegian metal so unless somebody comes up with a cure we’ll keep on killing. Hopefully on an even larger scale.

One last random question that we ask every band, if you could eb an animal out of a Zebra and a Giraffe what would you be? And why?
I am a giraffe (I’m 2 meters tall), so a zebra would make for a good change.

Thanks for your time is there any message you would like to leave for your fans reading this?
Everybody dies. Even your children. Go anal.

Interview by Trigger